You don't know Kim Jong Un like Dennis Rodman knows him.
According to Rodman, the young North Korean leader — famous, as those before him, for threatening the United States with imminent destruction — is secretly a pragmatist.
"He wants Obama to do one thing: call him," the eccentric sports celebrity, clad in a greenback-printed blazer, told ABC's George Stephanopoulos.
"He said, 'I don't want to do war.' He said that to me," Rodman added emphatically.
He went on to paint a sympathetic picture of his new friend for life.
"The kid's only 28," Rodman said. "He's very humble .... He's very strong as a man."
As for all those pronouncements of nuclear war, Stephanopoulos inquired?
"I think that's coming from his father," Rodman reasoned. "He loves power. He loves control. Cause of his ... you know, his dad and stuff like that. But, he just, he's a great guy."
"A great guy who puts 200,000 people in prison camps?" Stephanopoulos shot back.
Rodman stalled for a few moments, beginning, but failing to finish, several sentences. He finally conceded: "I'm not, like, a diplomat."
We've got to agree with The Worm on that one.
Rodman went on to offer a defense of his friendship with the controversial Kim; he even attempted to use President Bill Clinton's affair with Monica Lewinsky as a parallel example of how powerful men sometimes make mistakes.
Stephanopoulos ended the interview with a recommendation for Rodman, who said he'll be visiting North Korea again to learn more about what's happening in the country.
"The next time you go back you should bring this report from Human Rights Watch with you and maybe ask some questions about that." He handed the retired NBA star a paper copy.
Rodman's closing line? "Don't hate me."
Check out all of Rodman's interview with ABC's Stephanopoulos:View the story "The accidental diplomat and his new best friend" on Storify]