A Maryland homeowner was naturally terrified when he heard someone banging on his door late Wednesday night. He called 911 and then hid upstairs as the burglar broke into his home, the Associated Press reported.
But the alleged burglar, a 22-year-old named Russell E. Neff, wasn't looking for the "thug life." Instead, it appears that he just wanted the lazy suburban life.
More from GlobalPost: When the BRICs crumble
When police arrived, they found Neff watching television in his underwear, The Daily Times of Salisbury reported. Police found evidence that he had cooked a chicken pot pie, an oddly complicated recipe for someone to attempt during a burglary.
Police also saw Neff "licking the remote control," according to the Times. Perhaps the pie wasn't ready yet.
Neff was arrested and faces criminal charges, the AP reported.