Britain's success in the Olympics is not going over well with Australians. Of all the sports in the Olympics, the British invented about three-quarters of them. But inventing sports must be tiring, because we always tend to lose at them. So we've become good losers, instead of good winners. Our attitude is nowhere is nicer or laster than we are. At least that used to be the case until these Olympics, as we've now started to win and are third at the medal table behind China and the U.S. This success has been deeply uncomfortable. We're just not used to beating others at sports, it's unseemly somehow. So I apologize on behalf of our nation for these acts of victory.

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