Sad about North Korea killing ‘The Interview’? Here’s a way to fill your dictator-shaped void

It seems like just yesterday that most people on Earth were only vaguely aware of an upcoming buddy comedy called "The Interview." In what must be the third or fifth or tenth stoner movie released in the last few years by pals and collaborators Seth Rogen and James Franco, the film involves a plot to assassinate North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. "The Interview" is probably a totally okay way to spend 112 minutes of your life, but now, as merely a matter of national security, we're stuck with either rewatching "Mockingjay" or sitting through the "Night at the Museum" sequel. Great.

Whom do we have to thank for this minor tragedy? The Supreme Manchild himself, a team of hackers, and a quivering corporate entity, Sony, that's looking on with horrified impotence as its leaked internal emails have drawn accusations of racism, sexism, and stupidity. 

Maybe we'll never get to see "The Interview." If you're disappointed because you won't be able to smoke a bunch of weed and watch Seth Rogan take his shirt off, it's okay — just stay home and watch "22 Jump Street." But if you're disappointed because you like seeing depictions of dictators on screen, you came to the right place!

Here are some of the best real-life dictators from American film and TV history to keep you going while you mourn the loss of "The Interview."

HITLER

Hitler is all over the place in American cinema. You've got to start with the classic: Charlie Chaplin's "The Great Dictator" (1940).

It features this amazing example of rhythm gymnastics:

 

And this rousing speech in which Chaplin/Hitler comes to realize that the mob isn't listening to his words, they're just responding to the performance of their dictator.

 

Reportedly, Hitler was a Chaplin fan and cried when he saw the film. Chaplin later said he wouldn't have made the movie if he'd known about Hitler's concentration and death camps.

One of the best Hitler appearances in American film is a short one — his cameo in "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" (1989).

It's an incredibly tense moment. Indy is disguised as a Nazi and he's just recovered the diary that holds the key to finding the Holy Grail — a diary that Hitler is hunting for. Indy's weaving through a flood of Germans during a Nazi rally and suddenly finds himself face to face with one of the worst villains in history. Hitler doesn't recognize the Grail diary, and, thinking Indy just wants an autograph, signs it.

Close call.

 

Quentin Tarantino wrote a pretty good Hitler for "Inglorious Basterds" (2009), a film that's basically 3 hours of Nazi-massacring, Hitler-murdering, post-facto wish-fulfillment.

He's got Hitler ranting. (Typical.)

 

And instead of killing himself in a bunker, Hitler dies like this:

 

There's also "The Producers" (1968/2005), which gave us the unforgettable "Springtime for Hitler."

 

Last is a film made in Germany that spawned a viral internet meme in the US: "Downfall" (2004). It features a Hitler rant of a sort that will never be equaled on the silver screen.

 

Never equaled, but endlessly repeated as a meme known as "Hitler reacts."

 

KIM JONG IL

Maybe Kim Jong Un is lashing out at the American entertainment industry because his father never did.

The late Kim chose not to unleash hackers in response to "Team America: World Police" (2004), a film by Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the creators of South Park. (More South Park later.)

Apparently this incredibly racist musical number didn't warrant an international incident.

 

And neither did his death scene.

 

On the small screen, Kim was a repeat guest on the NBC show "30 Rock," where he was played by comedian Margaret Cho.

He appears as a meteorologist on a North Korean propaganda channel.

 

He's an NBA champion.

 

And he's also the "greatest waiter of all time."

 

SADDAM HUSSEIN

Iraq's former dictator was a bright light on Saturday Night Live.

 

But his star never shined so bright as it did in "South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut" (1999).

 

Between the time that Saddam was captured by US troops in 2003 and executed in 2006, according to the Telegraph, US Marines in charge of guarding him forced him to watch the movie, repeatedly.

MUAMMAR GADDAFI

Another SNL star:

 

Peak Gaddafi mockery came not from the US but from South Africa, where a chicken chain called Nando's featured him in an ensemble cast of dictators.

 

KIM JONG UN

It's surprising that it took so long for the World's Most Powerful Gerber Baby to retaliate, considering he's already been a target for mockery in various American media.

Required viewing: College Humor's ongoing animated series, "The Adventures of Kim Jong Un."

Kim as a "Hunger Games" heartthrob.

 

And here he dominates Vladimir Putin with his manliness.

 

Maybe the Toddler-in-Chief just doesn't get the joke. He wasn't above throwing a tantrum when a London salon made fun of his haircut

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