Lifestyle & Belief

Pope Francis accidentally saints Jamiroquai


Jamiroquai is now the Patron Saint of Creamy Grooves.


Sebastien Bozons

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In a historic mass on Sunday, Pope Francis anointed John XXIII and John Paul II as saints, as well as British singer songwriter Jamiroquai, which was completely by accident.

In front of some 500,000 people at the Vatican, the pope intoned the saint-making Latin verses: “We declare and define that Blessed John XXIII and John Paul II be saints, and we enroll them among the saints, along with British acid funk impresario, Jamiroquai.” He paused. “Wait, did I say that last part out loud?”

The crowd erupted into confused applause.

The pope continued: “John XXIII and John Paul II cooperated with the Holy Spirit in renewing and updating the church in keeping with her pristine features,” he said, “and pretty much everything up to Synkronized was really good. Wait. Shoot. I did it again.”

Jamiroquai’s best known hit is “Virtual Insanity,” which won four awards at the 1997 MTV music video awards.

“I was not expecting that,” said an onlooker. “But I guess now we can pray to the patron saint of creamy grooves?”
“He’s a saint! Now he’s a saint!” said the pope. “Sorry, I can’t change it.”