Lifestyle & Belief

Assange affair: How's it gonna end?


With literally all eyes on him, Assange will have to come up with a brilliant embassy escape plan if granted asylum by Ecuador.


Leon Neal

If you’ve never had to think like a screenwriter before, now is the perfect time to get your Spielberg on.


Well, considering WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange is coming up on one full month as a refugee behind the walls of London’s Ecuadorean embassy, the question of how the dramatic storyline will pan out has become increasingly relevant and appealing to movie makers.

For one, even if Assange is granted asylum and/or citizenship by Ecuador’s President Rafael Correa, many onlookers believe chances are slim that he’ll be able to arrive safely onto Ecuadorean soil without first getting nabbed by London authorities.

Wanted in Sweden for alleged sex crimes, and in the US for leaking secret diplomatic cables, Assange faces a tough road ahead if he plans on sunbathing in Quito anytime soon. 

More from GlobalPost: Assange and Ecuador: A bad mix?

Whether you hope Assange is detained, given life in a Swedish jail, or freed, his sticky situation in London is nonetheless grounds for some serious plot brainstorming. 

Will Assange come charging out the front door with a band of mercenaries, Rambo style? Will a group of Queen's Guards proceed to take him down?

Here’s a list of five possible Hollywood endings to the Assange affair, from the plausible to the highly improbable:

1.) UN-breakable 

As the Telegraph reported back in June, a former government lawyer in London, Carl Gardner, suggested a concrete way for Assange to circumvent the authorities that surround him. If Correa named Assange Ecuador's new representative to the United Nations, that may give Assange the legal space he needs to reach the South American country unscathed. It's not clear if a bizarre evasion attempt like this one would work but it's certainly something to think about. 

2.) Death in an Embassy

Although it is certainly more likely that Assange will find his way out of the Ecuador's embassy at some point, there is also a chance that the building in upscale Knightsbridge may become his home permanently. Although it’s “not quite the Hilton,” Fox News reported that Assange’s quarters in the embassy include a bed, phone and internet connections, and even some extra room for visitors. What more could he need? Though certainly not as spacious as Ellingham Hall, his last place of residence, Assange may just decide to suck it up and settle down for good in Ecuador’s cozy apartment in London.

But remember, no matter how he dies there, it must be murder! (SNL).  

3.) From Ecuador, with Love 

The world knows Assange is a clever man, but can Swedish and US officials outsmart him? Leaked documents of his own personal life show that he may have a weakness when it comes to women. Maybe the State Department will send in a lady to trick Assange into leaving the embassy and jump on a plane with her to "Ecuador."

4.) Young Gun Julian the Kid 

Although no one wants to see a shoot out in London as the Olympics approach, somethimes the ends justify the means: Assange may get desperate and come out shooting like Billy the Kid. If he does choose this path, though, odds will not be in his favor. In preparation for London 2012, the Ministry of Defense has equipped six London rooftops with high-accuracy missiles

5.) The WikiLeaks Redemption 

We can only imagine what type of ingenious escape plan Assange is brewing as he sits cooped up in his lair. Maybe, taking inspiration from the recent drug tunnel discoveries along the Mexico-US border, Assange may avoid authorities by taking his plans to the underground. And surely he’s had the time over the past few weeks to reconnect with some of his favorite Hollywood films. The Shawshank Redemption, perhaps? Though it may be hard to visualize a glorified Assange celebrating in the rain after making a sewerage tunnel escape, if he could construct an underground passageway from the embassy to England's coastline (and Rafael Correa is nice enough to hide a visa near a rock wall or something), the WikiLeaks founder may just earn his freedom the hard way.  

It may even look something like this: 

What type of ending to the Assange affair are you hoping for? Comment below with predictions and fan-fiction ending ideas of your own.