Lifestyle & Belief

Penis formations popping up on Australian golf course


The vandalised green at Cromer Golf Club. How many penalties for interfering with a penis formation? Two, and a spanking with a 4-iron.


Manly Daily

Please mind the penis on the 15th green.

It's nothing personal.

Come on, people, you know hard it is to line your put up over a burned penis formation?

There are players who get distracted by a tiny leaf that’s fallen onto the green.

What do you think they’ll do when faced with an immovable obstruction like this?

They might hyperventilate and angrily throw their club into the nearest pine tree. I have seen it happen over situations far less controversial.

Is anyone else utterly sick and tired of people not taking the game of golf seriously enough? 

I was practically reduced to tears when I heard of the hardship the Cromer Golf Club in Australia must endure these days: yes, someone has burned penis-shaped formations into the grass at the 15th green and 16th fairway.

The creative vandalism occurred sometime Tuesday, but this isn’t the first time phallic “crop circles” have appeared on the course.

It’s is the third time.

The first incident was about 10 weeks ago, and the second about six weeks ago, club manager Rod Davies told Manly Daily:

It is always a penis, and it is always near the (public) walkway…I can’t imagine what message the person is trying to get across.

I think the message is pretty obvious.

It’s either somebody who really, really dislikes golf. Or it’s the guy who threw his 7-iron into the pine tree last time. (Admit it, every club has somebody like that as a member.)

Or it could be an extraterrestrial message to remind golfers: Keep your eye on the ball at all times.