Welcome to Thailand: Happy Valentine’s Day from Bangkok

BANGKOK, Thailand — Just when you thought the droves of Western men who moved to Bangkok have it easy when it comes to women, you read the Bangkok Post and stumble on a story about local Valentine’s Day cards.

These things make the dating scene here look like a serious adrenaline sport.

In other words, the Bangkok Post wonders, what would Valentine Day's cards look like if they actually told the truth about love, life and gender relations in the sex capital of the world?

But be warned, gentlemen.

This collection covers the greatest fears a man can encounter while dating in Bangkok, such as:

1) Your girl is only in it for the money
2) Your girl doesn’t look anything like her online profile
3) Your girl likes Thai romantic comedy
4) Your girl likes to dress you up in metrosexual outfits
5) Your girl is also dating somebody else
6) Your girl is threatening you with castration

And best of all:

7) Your girl turns out to be a man

Happy Valentine’s Day, everybody.

And, if you happen to pick a Bangkok valentine — for the love of god — watch your testicles.