Welcome to The Plot Against Syria

Like most systems founded on repression, President Assad of Syria and supporters of his dictatorship have always been conspiratorially minded, blaming dark forces of Western imperialism for any and all ills which their need to retain absolute power inflicts on their own people and others.

Little wonder then, that when the Syrian people took to the streets to demand and end to their nation’s 41-year dictatorship, the Assad regime responded the only way it knew how: With some good old fashioned plot twisting.

Pro-democracy protestors peacefully marching through the streets of Syria were branded “armed gangs,” “terrorists,” or, in the words of President Assad himself, “germs,” directed by foreign plotters, mainly the West, the US, Israel or Saudi Arabia.

Now supporters of the regime have kindly produced a helpful website to guide users through the key plotters pulling the strings behind the scenes in this grand conspiracy against Syria.

View the website: The Plot Against Syria

“Syria is under attack by a conspiracy of evil persons,” begins the website. “These persons created a massive fabrication machine to falsify information about Syria. In this Site, we try to simulate the Plot hierarchy by introducing the key players and their negative impact on Syria.”

Visitors to the site are invited to report an individual ‘plot member’ or go for a whole ‘plot organization’ with boxes ready to fill in with useful data including known associates, title within the plot, financing and even code names.

Here we find the likes of Razan Zeitouna, a human rights lawyer who has worked tirelessly inside Syria’s corrupted legal system to defend prisoners of conscience. Zeitouna, says the site, is “spokesman [excuse the gender error] for the terrorist campaign against Syria. She is a member of the logistic support organization created by Suheir Atassi to support the terrorists.”

Wissam Tarif, who leads a team of researchers on Syria who have uncovered some of the most heinous crimes committed by Assad’s security forces, is gracefully titled ‘Human Rights Activist’ and, less gracefully, ‘Official Liar and Propagandist,’ though the site does acknowledge that with these ‘lies’ Tarif has “led a continuous campaign for the democratisation of Syria, Lebanon and the Middle East.”

“Well done article that,” reads one of the more comprehensible comments left on the site, concluding worryingly: “I'll make sure to use it wisely.”