"Dancing so energetically, moving so friskily… your body is so chubby."
So sings the male crooner in the "poco poco" dance's official song, at least according to this subtitled YouTube video.
The poco poco is a line dance in the storied tradition of the Electric Slide, the Macarena and, for those of you born in the 1990s, the Soulja Boy.
First invented in Indonesia, the poco poco is more than just a lyrical abomination, according to one Islamic scholar in neighboring Malaysia. The dance secretly imparts Christianity by tracing a cross in the air, he said, and it's performance amounts to "cult practices." He has since banned it in his province.