Gas tax holiday

Fair Game
The World

Good news everybody, we’ve got a fix for the gas problem. On Monday, Senator Clinton agreed: lifting the gas tax would be grand. If two out of three presidential candidates agree, this must be a good idea, right? If Congress really wants to help us out, how bout this: You remember that weird design flaw in SUV’s that used to make them flip over and then immediately explode? Make that mandatory – on every car. Who would drive if there was a reasonable chance that he’d wind up upside down and on fire? Also, instead of air bags, spider bags. That’s all we’re saying. Candidates, our proposals are yours for the taking.

Sign up for our daily newsletter

Sign up for The Top of the World, delivered to your inbox every weekday morning.