transcript

Info on Tourette's syndrome

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LISA MULLINS: Nick Van Bloss was seven years old when his body started having motor and vocal tics, such as shaking his head and making violent whooping noises. He was later diagnosed with Tourette's Syndrome. His illness didn't stop him from becoming a pianist. By the age of 20, Van Bloss was playing recitals, concertos, and chamber music all across Europe. Whenever he played the piano, it seemed he remained “tic-free.” But in 1994, the British musician experienced tics on stage and abruptly stopped playing in mid-performance. After that, he only played for an audience of one: himself, at home. That is, until last night, when he took to the stage in London for his first public performance in 15 years. Nick Van Bloss told the BBC what it's like to live with Tourette's.

NICK VAN BLOSS: Having Tourette's is a really exhausting thing. I mean, the body is gyrating, ticking, and whooping, dancing to its own tune if you like. It was, I suppose, a question of balancing a performing career and all the stuff that goes with it – the admin and the agent and managing, with the body that's never stopping. So it was sort of doubly exhausting. Tourette's is the curse and the blessing. A curse in the sense that it is exhausting but it also keeps the mind very alive. It sort of makes the mind race all the time, so you do have this incredible energy all the time. The Tourette's has gotten worse as the years have gone on, so there's this sort of odd energy that's within me, that sort of wells up and forces me to do things. The sort of miraculous thing about Tourette's, the cure within myself, if you like, is whenever I play or really concentrate on something musically, the piano, the Tourette's seems to disappear. It's almost as though it says, “Okay. You know what? We're being satisfied now, all these nasty little tics and movements in the body.” And they sit back and finally I can be myself and actually touch the piano and communicate properly. And I get this wonderful sense of peace while at the same time having this wonderful release from the ticking body that's my abnormality. It's very frustrating because I wish I had this sort of on-off switch that I could, you know, employ all the time and say, “Okay. Today I want to be Tourette-free or tic-free and go about my daily life, to avoid the stares of people when I see them not blink and they move away from me in the coffee shops and think, “Well, what an oddity sitting there in the corner.”” And it's coming to terms with being able to say, “Okay. I've had a bad day with Tourette's now,” but I know when I sit down at the piano, exhausted as I am from the Tourette's, I'll have sort of a refreshing break and be able to let go for awhile. It's a strange one for me to deal with, because obviously I haven't played for so many years in public, at least. I mean, I've played for the simplicity of the four walls at home who are the unjudgemental audience, as it were, and it's been very comforting to do that. So now it's just to play in front of an audience, there's this kind of reticent streak I suppose. But also a wonderful passion about it that makes me want to say, “Yeah, I can go out and do this. It's really great. Finally.” I'm playing two concertos – one by Bach, who is the composer who kind of fuels me and gives this incredible sense of calm when I play. It's this music that sort of exercises both halves of the brain. Bach is something that really drives me. I think it's the order – maybe he gives me an incredible order, yet there's a wonderful controlled emotion. And perhaps that's what I crave in reality and in everyday life when I'm away from the piano and I've got this body that won't be ordered.

MULLINS: And that was pianist Nick Van Bloss, who performed last night in London without a tic – his first performance in 15 years. By the way, Van Bloss says he doesn't want to be known as “The Tourette's Pianist”. There's no reason he should be, according to one review in the London newspaper today. It read, “The Music Making Will Stand On Its Own.”

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