Global Politics

H-bomb this: Six other things North Korea has lied about

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Kim Jong-Un after supposedly scaling the 9,000ft Mount Paektu one morning. 

Credit:

Korean Central News Agency

North Korea's claim it tested a hydrogen nuclear device got experts rushing to examine seismic records and satellite recordings. But hold on, Nellie! History shows Pyongyang has a history of whoppers. Or Whoppers, if you include the claim its onetime leader invented the hamburger. Here's a half-dozen reasons you should take its latest claim with a pound of salt, as Washington is apparently doing.  

Kim Jong-il was the greatest golfer of all time — on his first time on the links  

"Kim shot 38 under, including 11 holes-in-one, at the 7,700-yard championship course at Pyongyang in the VERY FIRST golf round of his life, according to North Korean state media. This was in 1994, when Kim was 52 years old. Even more impressive, Kim stood just 5-foot-3, yet he was able to overpower a course as long as any ever played in major championship history." - ESPN

Note: His bowling score was a mere 300.

They poorly photoshopped a submarine missile 'launch'

Korean State Media

A "photo" of a test firing of a submarine launch.   

Credit:

State Media

Note the red glow on the water.

"The latest revelation of the KN-11 corresponds with the broader pattern of claiming significant advances in missile technology while trying to substantiate them with contradictory proof." - Federation of American Scientists.

North Korea invented a 'new' food — effectively the hamburger

North Korean workers making hamburgers.

North Korean workers making hamburgers. 

Credit:

Korea Central News Agency

Yep. We are still checking on secret ingredients. Don't ask us about a drive-thru window.*

*No cars

North Korea cured AIDS, Ebola and cancer with one drug they won't share. 

Korea Central News Agency

Kim Jong-un in a lab

Credit:

Korea Central News Agency

"In a statement published by Korean Central News Agency of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea to herald the news, Dr Jon Sung Hun said: “The researchers insert rare earth elements (REE) into insam (gingseng) by applying the mico-elementary fertilizers of REE to the fields of insam.” - Independent 

Photoshopped several more military hovercraft

Photoshopped image of hovercrafts.

Photoshopped image of hovercrafts. 

Credit:

Korea Central News Agency 

"...at least two, possibly three hovercraft appear to have been pasted into the scene of a military exercise, reportedly taking place on North Korea's east coast on March 25, 2013. Two hovercraft crashing through the surf, nearest to the photographer, appear to be just a single hovercraft, with a digital twin copied and pasted nearby. Two of the more distant craft appear to be digital twins as well. A third vehicle in the scene has some of the hallmarks of digital pasting, including color mismatch, a slight halo, and soft edges. We contacted AFP, which distributed this image from KCNA, and they have since removed the image due to evidence of tampering." — The Atlantic 

A hotel 27 years behind schedule is a) open, b) tripled, c) gone, d) perfect

Korean Central News Agency

An image showing duplicates of the Ryugyong Hotel in North Korea.

Credit:

Korean Central News Agency

"A picture doesn't lie -- the 105-story Ryugyong Hotel is hideous, dominating the Pyongyang skyline like some twisted North Korean version of Cinderella's castle. Not that you would be able to tell from the official government photos of the North Korean capital — the hotel is such an eyesore, the Communist regime routinely covers it up, airbrushing it to make it look like it's open — or Photoshopping or cropping it out of pictures completely." — Esquire

Readers, did we miss one? Let us know if you've found any North Korea whoppers. (Note: Depictions from the avant-garde comedy "The Interview" are not accepted, nor are doctored Katy Perry videos.

Devastating Note: The author was crestfallen to learn, upon further inspection, that North Korea's unicorn cave was a mistranslation.