LGBT Catholics are looking forward to Pope Francis’s US visit and hoping for change

The World
Members of Dignity Boston, a congregation of LGBT Catholics and their supporters, attend Sunday liturgy service on August 9, 2015.

They have long felt marginalized by their own Church.

But some lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Roman Catholics see a possibility for something different when Pope Francis comes to America in September. 

Marcia Garber is trying to be realistic. Garber remembers telling her teenage son C.J. something that lots of Catholic parents say to their kids when they reach a certain age. 

“You’re gonna get confirmed and then you can kind of do whatever, you can find your way,” she told him. 

But for C.J., finding his own way was never going to be easy. He was born Kristen. For a long time, Garber says she and her husband just thought their daughter was a tomboy. But by middle school, Garber says they realized something else was going on.  

Marcia Garber hopes Pope Francis can change the tone of the Church's stance on LGBT people.

Marcia Garber hopes Pope Francis can change the tone of the Church's stance on LGBT people.

Credit:

Matthew Bell 

In high school, Kristen started the transition from female to male, taking on the name C.J., short for Christopher John. Garber says her son did end up getting confirmed. But the Church, she adds, was never really there for C.J. 

“I didn’t feel like he was really being supported. And I didn’t feel like any of us were really being supported. The pastor we had at the time didn’t talk about anything very significant,” Garber says. 

But she says what really bothered her was talk from the pulpit about homosexuality and same-sex marriage being sinful. 

One Sunday in 2006, some of Garber’s fellow parishioners outside of Boston started collecting signatures in support of a referendum to ban gay marriage. Garber says that was the last straw. She walked out of church that day and has never returned to mainstream Catholicism. 

“It was too enraging and upsetting and hurtful,” Garber says. 

There is more at stake here than people's feelings. After high school, C.J. continued to struggle to find his way in life. He got into drugs. And in 2009, he died of a heroin overdose.  

Garber still goes to church on Sundays at Dignity/Boston, which gathers in an Episcopal Church building in the city’s South End neighborhood. The congregation describes itself as a community of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Catholics and friends. 

Marianne Duddy-Burke is the executive director of DignityUSA and she says people like Marcia Garber are part of a trend in the Catholic Church. 

“People try really hard to stay connected to the Church of their childhood,” Duddy-Burke says. “But you can only take so many instances of being called, you know, ‘objectively disordered,’ or to be denied communion.” 

Still, Duddy-Burke says the visit by Pope Francis to the United States in September could be an opportunity. 

In Philadelphia, Francis will attend the annual World Meeting of Families, where Duddy-Burke hopes the pope will take the time to meet personally with LGBT Catholics and their families, listen to their stories and then respond with compassion. 

“I think it would be really helpful for him to come out and talk about the dignity of LGBT people, that we should not face discrimination. If he talked about the need to end criminalization of being gay, or the violence against LGBT people that’s happening in so many places throughout the world, that could have a huge impact globally,” Duddy-Burke says.  

No one is really expecting the pope to fully embrace same-sex marriage. In fact, Francis has been pretty clear about opposing it. In June, the pope characterized heterosexual marriage as essential for raising children. But this pope also got a lot of attention for uttering the words, “Who am I to judge?” when he was asked about a celibate gay priest back in 2013. 

Many people heard that comment as a sign that this pope is ready to make some big changes in the Church. 

Pope Francis’s approach on issues of sexual ethics does not amount to a major innovation in Church doctrine, says James Bretzke, a Jesuit priest and moral theologian at Boston College.  

However, Bretzke says, “it is a huge innovation in terms of tone.”  

Bretzke says Francis has a markedly different style compared to his predecessors — and some American bishops. Where they have spent time railing about people’s moral failings,  Francis has usually been more inclined toward outreach and humility. 

“The church is a church of sinners. The pope said that himself. And I don’t think he was being falsely modest. I think he is, in fact, a sinner,” Betzke says.  

“[The Roman Catholic Church] is not like a moral Mensa Club that’s only open to the elite. It’s really open to everyone. So, gay men and women should definitely feel part of the church.” 

Indeed, some still do feel very much part of the church. 

Deb Word is a recent president of Fortunate Families, a group of Catholic parents who advocate for their gay children. “The Catholic Church can throw some land mines,” she says. “But it depends on where you’re located.” 

Word says her parish in Memphis, Tennessee is very supportive of LGBT people and their families. “We have a wonderful pastoral bishop, and my pastor is very good with this issue. However, I’ve talked to parents in tears who’ve gone to their parish priests who’ve said, ‘You need to cut off all contact with this child until he decides to live a celibate life.” 

If Pope Francis does decide to meet with gay Catholics during his US visit, one thing he may hear about is the firing of gay and lesbian employees from Catholic institutions. 

This has become a much bigger issue now that same-sex marriage is legal in all 50 states, says Jamie Manson of the National Catholic Reporter. 

“A lot of LGBT people were working in Catholic schools or even in Catholic parishes, sort of under the radar. And once they become married … it’s as if one’s making a public declaration of their opposition to Catholic teaching on sexual morality,” Manson says.  

Firing people for being in a same-sex relationship, Manson adds, violates the church’s own teaching against discrimination. 

Employees at some Catholic institutions have to sign a morality clause, pledging to live according to Catholic teachings. Manson and others point out that honestly living up to those standards would mean no sex outside of marriage, no contraception and no masturbation. 

But it’s only gay Catholics, they say, who are being held to account, not straight people.

It is not clear where Francis might come down on some of these issues. But LGBT Catholics could see signs for optimism in the way the pope has talked about other marginalized groups, such as divorced people, immigrants and the poor. 

Another 2013 statement from Pope Francis could also prove prophetic. 

“I see the church as a field hospital after battle,” the pope said. “It is useless to ask a seriously injured person if he has high cholesterol and about the level of his blood sugars! You have to heal his wounds. Then, we can talk about everything else.”

Sign up for our daily newsletter

Sign up for The Top of the World, delivered to your inbox every weekday morning.