Losing a loved one is one thing.
Having them taken away by men in government uniforms, never to be seen again, is quite another.
That's what's happened to hundreds of Mexicans, according to a new report by Human Rights Watch.
The report documents 249 cases over the last six years.
The report's author, Nik Steinberg, says there's no evidence in any of these cases that the victims were criminals or connected with narco-trafficking.
Steinberg says in some cases they have been able to establish motive and often it's petty, like an argument over a bar tab.
"Imagine, if your brother or son or daughter is disappeared, and they're disappeared by police, where do you go for help?"