This week, the granddaddy of British linguists David Crystal reflects on a life in language. Crystal is an inclusionist: he welcomes slang and textspeak, for example, into the English language. He recalls that as a young academic he was contacted by a shoe company who placed an order with him for several nouns and adjectives. Also this week, the Moomins: they're as popular in their native Finland as Disney is in the United States. But strange things happen to the Moomins when they are translated into Japanese, Cantonese or English. Finally, we hear from a Lebanese man who has proclaimed himself Emperor of Nowheristan.