Ron Burgundy: What is the name of this network again? Espin?
Announcer: No, no, ESPN.
Ron Burgundy: That's a terribly name. Hello sports fans! I'm Ron Burgundy, here at the desk of Espin. And there were some things going on in sports today that will make your brain fall out of your skull.
Aaron Schacter: And that's legendary Ron Burgundy trying his hand at sportscasting for ESPN, or Espin. Now, Burgundy's a fictitious anchorman, also known as Will Farrell, but this weekend he'll be co-anchoring a really sporting event in Canada. He's going to help cover the Olympic curling trials for the Canadian broadcaster TSN, or Tisin. Burgundy will be joining veteran curling commentator Vic Rauter. He's Rauter's take on why the makers of the upcoming Anchorman 2 approached TSN.
Vic Rauter: I'm going to assume, and it may bite me, but I'm going to assume that they probably came to TSN and said 'What have you got going on?' and last weekend we had the Gray Cup which is Canada's football championship game and they went 'Oh, ok Ho-Hum' and they said 'Well, we've got hockey' and they probably went 'Ho-Hum' and they said well we have this thing called curling and they said 'Bingo!' And, so, uh-
Schacter: Vic, you know he's coming to make fun of you, right?
Rauter: Well, you know what, I'm not sure if - I, listen, I, he probably is and I may be his foil. I'm not sure what direction Mr. Burgundy wants to go in, but I'm fair game. And whatever he wants to do, but he's only going to spend one end with us during a woman's game. But he's going to be taking part in the opening ceremonies in Winnipeg and for those of your listeners who aren't aware, curling in Canada is a very big sport. It draws audiences on TV comparable, and sometimes exceeding, those of hockey.
Schacter: Come on Vic-
Rauter: Yes sir.
Schacter: No. Curling is shuffleboard on ice.
Rauter: No, please don't say that. Please don't say that. No, no, no. No, no, no. I mean, this game, this game - there's going to be twelve to fourteen thousand people in there watching every draw.
Schacter: You know, I'm-
Rauter: I know!
Schacter: I wouldn't admit this to many people but, just between us, I actually watched the men's finals a couple of weeks ago here in the United States
Schacter: And I was joking about the fact that I was watching curling and, you know, by the end I was absolutely transfixed.
Rauter: Listen, it is a cerebral game. It's called 'Chess-on-Ice.'
Schacter : Ok, well, give us a quick primer, if you would. What does the game entail and what are things, if we watch, that we should look out for?
Rauter: Each team has four players. Each player throws two stones. And depending on which way you turn that stone, the stone will curl. Now, when you see them brush, people say 'Are they cleaning the ice?' No, what they're in fact doing is they're heating up the ice just a little bit, and by heating up the ice the stone won't curl as much. And those rings that you see - it isn't like a bullseye. After each player, or each team, has thrown their eight stones, the colored stones closest to the center score the points. And that's as simple as I can make it.
Schacter: Hey, Vic, last question.
Rauter: Yes, sir.
Schacter: You got to be sick and tired of Americans calling you up and making jokes about curling.
Rauter: No, you know what, I tell you, there's some people I'll look at, I'll be quite honest with you, there are some people who are a little critical of Ron Burgundy coming to Winnipeg because they think he's going to make fun of the game. That well may be, but I tell you what, I really do believe in that adage that any publicity is good publicity. This has the potential of bringing curling to an audience right around the world. Some people will tune in and some people see it - so how can I be upset by that?
Schacter: Vic Rauter is sport announcer for TSN in Canada - 24-hour sports network up there. Vic, thank you so much.
Rauter: What a pleasure, and may I say Happy Holidays to everybody.
Schacter: Thank you so much.
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